Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
