i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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