My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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