I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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