I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
