Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
