he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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