Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
