She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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