So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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