Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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