why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
