will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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