lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
