Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
