Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
