covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
someone owes me an orgasm
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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