Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
