I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize