I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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