I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
