I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
