dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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