I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
