If you die in college, do you die in real life?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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