Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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