I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
