Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
