I didn't shave. On purpose
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
