Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
