You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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