So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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