If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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