Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
