Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
