Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
