That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
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