I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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