were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
