So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
That accounts for only three of the penises
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
