I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
