It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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