corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
