I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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