I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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