I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We need a shit load of segways right now
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
