Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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