dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
