i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You are a genius and a whore.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
