i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
