So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
