belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
