My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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