Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
