I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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