Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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