My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize