My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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