Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
