I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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