i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Randomize
