You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
