Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
